Tight expectations

A recent post on my parenting message board asked where to find tights for younger baby girls, and I have to admit that I was taken aback at first.

Tights? *blink, blink*

I confess that in the past ten months, it never occurred to me to buy tights for Baby B.

I think part of it is just for simplicity’s sake. I pretty much just kept her in onesies for the first two months and didn’t put pants on her at all until she was 7 or 8 weeks old, I think. I was definitely more focused on what was functional over the cuteness factor.

But I think part of it is that I wouldn’t consider myself to be a “girly girl,” and I don’t have much desire to over-girlify Baby B, either. Yes, she wears a lot of pink, but I’ve found that that’s largely unavoidable for baby girl clothes. I don’t necessarily want to force her into the tomboy route, but I also don’t want her always thinking in terms of princess and fairy-tale fantasies, and perhaps on some level I associate things like tights, baby earrings, and baby headbands and bows with that mindset, so I automatically steer clear of anything deemed too girly in my head.

One day last week when I picked up Baby B, another of the infant moms commented that Baby B was always so active and athletic when she saw her. And I would definitely agree with that assessment; she’s an explorer. The mom then laughed and said, “My girl is such a little priss.” (This is the same girl, by the way, whose ears are pierced.) After this conversation, I couldn’t help but wonder…was the little girl really a priss by nature, or did the mom really just want her girl to be a priss? How much of a baby’s personality and traits are natural, and how much of it is projected onto them by us, the parents? Are we more likely to want our children to have a similar experience to our own, or are we more likely to want something for our children that we didn’t get to experience on our own? Obviously the answer is going to be different for each parent, but it’s a valid question to ponder.

I very much admit to wanting Baby B to have a similar experience to what mine was growing up. Like I said, I’m not really overly girly, yet I wasn’t a tomboy, either. I grew up in a comfortable middle-class home, where I received all of what I needed and much of what I wanted, yet I also had an ingrained in me an appreciation for the fact that my every desire would not be granted (you know, the whole money doesn’t go on trees thing). I look back at my childhood and remember so many fun, goofy times with my family, and I love that we were able to travel to places both near and far. I am glad that my parents supported me and gave me good opportunities in life, yet I had to step up and be the one most responsible for myself and my actions.

I yearn for Baby B to understand a balance in life. Not overly girly. Not unappreciative. Not a “princess.” Not one who takes things for granted. That’s not to say that by wearing tights she automatically becomes that kind of person, of course. But perhaps I’m subconsciously afraid of opening some floodgates that I’m not wanting to open, thus it doesn’t occur to me to buy tights, and I’m pretty vocally opposed to baby earrings and headbands/bows.

You know what this means, right? I’m going to end up with the girliest girl of all the girls.