Fear factor

Baby B is doing much better, and she’s back at daycare today with no hesitation on our part to send her back (and we’re pretty conservative in that area; more conservative than most parents, it sometimes seems).

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Raising a child is such a big responsibility that I think all parents have some fears and worries along the way, some big and some small. Fear of leaving the baby in the car accidentally. Fear of sudden infant death syndrome (SIDS). Fear of them not eating enough. Fear of them watching too much TV. These fears don’t necessarily eat at you continuously, but they can put you in their grip at unexpected times and make being a parent even more difficult.

I consider myself to be a very realistic person. I don’t step on an airplane and think I’m going to plummet to my death. I don’t think my house is going to be swept away in a tornado. Could it happen? Yes, of course, but I also know that the odds are in my favor. It’s not a ticket out of disaster or peril, but it’s enough to ensure that I don’t worry myself sick over such things.

There is one thing, however, that gets me when it comes to Baby B and her well-being:  an intruder sneaking into her bedroom window and kidnapping her, and she never returns. I know the chance of this happening is not great, but whenever the thought strikes me — usually if I hear an unidentified noise near the front of the house, where her bedroom is — it’s enough to cause momentary paralysis from fear. I don’t live my life in constant fear that someone is going to break in and steal her, but the thought is there, and it pops up from time to time.

I think part of it is that her room is on one end of the house (very front) and our bedroom is at the very back of the house, so without the monitor, we can’t hear noises at the front of the house, especially since we keep both bedroom doors closed. Bad things can happen in an instant, and knowing that we might not get to her in time if something happened is an unbearable thought.

Thankfully it’s not a situation we’re likely to have to deal with, but this does mean that I’m very affected whenever I hear a story on the news about a child that has been abducted by a stranger. I cannot possibly know what it’s like to endure that kind of torture, but I certainly understand it better now that Baby B is an integral part of our lives.