A date which will (hopefully) live in infamy

I’m going to drop a bomb on Pearl Harbor day.

I’ve got a faint line on a First Response Early Result test and a positive on a digital test.

I’ve got no early symptoms.

But I’ve got a first beta of 58 at 13 dpiui with a repeat set for Thursday. (Number on the same day last pg was 25.)

That is all of which I am certain. But I will also remind you that this is exactly how things started out last time: faint line, positive digital, no symptoms.

So I am dubious and it remains to be seen whether this will work. I am engaging in a bit of denial to get me through the coming weeks and months.

But, all the same, I’m very grateful to take this step forward. Even though I’m now in the position of leaving several others behind.

I have an ultrasound scheduled for December 20, which will be just shy of 6 weeks and perhaps a little early to see a heartbeat, but we’ll see. That’s when The RE wanted to see me, though, and their schedule is kind of tight the last couple weeks of the month because of all the holidays.

The stakes are high — higher than they’ve ever been — and I’m either going to end up with another child come August or another loss and possibly the end of our journey. Not much middle ground here.