A visit to the couch

The Big Sis had her therapist appointment on Monday, and I’d say overall it went well. I think we got some good validation that we’re doing all the right things with positive reinforcement and individual attention and such, and he was impressed that we were as knowledgeable as we are on the subject and basically said we were doing his job for him. (That’s probably both good and bad.) I noted that I think my main concern still was the fact that I feel like we have things mostly under control at home but there are still occasional issues that come up at school, and we didn’t really get an answer for that quite yet. He did talk about the various accommodations that can be made in school for children with a diagosis that shows an impairment, but that doesn’t necessarily help us right now as we can make suggestions to the preschool teachers but they are not required to abide by them. I understand the setup, but it’s a little frustrating to know that with school we have to be more reactive than proactive with this (if there’s ever any diagnosis at all). Again, at this point I’m not as worried about a diagnosis as I am about dealing with the behavior.

The Therapist is having The Husband and I each fill out a couple of assessments, as well as each of her teachers. My understanding is that this is not to diagnose ADHD or any other behavior disorders at this point but to instead see if there are any red flags we’re looking at. I find it so hard to answer such surveys where you have to answer on a number scale with no chance to explain anything. Anyway, we’ll send in our assessments in the coming weeks and then have a follow-up appointment on May 23 to go over the scoring. He said at that point it may be a matter of seeing how things start with kindergarten in the fall and doing another follow-up then, unless there is anything that comes out of her assessments that needs to be addressed in the meantime.

Mostly I want the physical reactions to anger and frustration to be eliminated as much as possible, particularly at school. Earlier this week, The Big Sis did something to one of her friends (I think hit her with a block when this friend started taking down a castle The Big Sis had built) that left a mark on her, and I’m told by the director that her father was LIVID. Like, she said, to the point of making threats, which I’m sure include him wanting the director to kick us out. I’m sure he assumes that we just don’t care and aren’t doing anything to change this behavior — when that’s really quite the opposite. I wish that came across to everyone we come into contact with. I’m just not sure how to further carry over her improved behavior from home to school. We talk about all of these situations as they happen and talk about better ways to deal with her anger and frustration in those cases and in general and we even practice such scenarios as much as we can — I feel like we’re doing all we can from our point of view. It’s just a frustrating position to be in, especially knowing that other parents have a very negative view of your child that you know is truly an amazing person. Overall, though, I’m trying to be optimistic and hope that she can extend her much better behavior into the realm of preschool and continue that to kindergarten in 3 1/2 months.

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3 Responses to A visit to the couch

  1. Kelly says:

    Maybe she could write a letter or draw a picture to apologize to the little girl. That’ll send a message of remorse to the big sis, girl will know she’s sorry and dad will know the parents care. Lily had to do the same thing yesterday w her ballet teacher yesterday for crying through most of the class for no apparent reason. Hopefully it sent the message!!

  2. Alex says:

    I think Kelly’s idea sounds great. The parents will realize you guys care and want to make sure Big Sis knows there are consequences.

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