Mr. Roget would be proud

For a long time now, we’ve had to avoid saying the word “walk” around The Dog because hearing it causes him to get excited, even if it’s not in reference to him going for a walk (though it usually is). Same thing with mentioning the park; we have to say, “Do you think we should go to the place where all the doggies hang out?” or else we face an attack of the excited pup.

The same is proving true for Baby B. (Wait, did you just compare your child to your dog? Why yes, I did, thanks for noticing. It really is amazing how many similarities there are, and I’m not above comparing the two of them.)

We’ve got certain key words that we cannot say around her, or else she’s going to get excited. Which is fine if we’re going to follow through on something, but not so good if it came up in conversation for another reason. So we’ve taken to using convoluted synonyms when mentioning such key words around her. Enjoy a few that I’ve included here:

• outside = that place that is not in the house
• milk = the liquid that comes from cows
• cookie = the confection with chocolate chips
• dinner = our evening meal
• baby = tiny, crying person
• bunny = that which hops and eats clover
• color = to mark with Crayolas
• potty = that white thing next to the scale
• pen = ink writing utensil
• food = yummy nibbles

**********

And thus today brings to a close the NaBloPoMo challenge, which I successfully completed with a post every day of the month. WHEW! It was challenging at times, but overally I found it to be easier this year than last. I sort of chuckle when I see a blogger with a toddler who says things are boring and not much is going on in their house. I find the complete opposite to be true, and sometimes I have too many things to write about! Still, I’m looking forward to slowing down a little for December and not being required to post each day, though I’m glad I did it for November. Until next year…!

Tagged, Not It!

Daddy B The Husband’s one-word answers to Serenity’s meme-tag:

Where is your cell phone? Dresser
Where is your significant other? Garage
Your hair color? Brown
Your mother? Crazy
Your father? Relaxed
Your favorite thing? BabyB!
Your dream last night? Elusive
Your goal? Security
The room you’re in? Living
Your hobby? Gaming
Your fear? Failure
Where do you want to be in six years? Upward
Where were you last night? Sims
What you’re not? Vacationing
One of your wish-list items? Laptop
Where you grew up? Northeast
The last thing you did? Exfoliate
What are you wearing? Jammies
Your TV? Squawking
Your pet? Sleepy
Your computer? Homebrewed
Your mood? Acceptable
Missing someone? Brother
Your car? Orange
Something you’re not wearing? Socks
Favorite store? Amazon
Your summer? Unbelievable!
Love someone? Someones!
Your favorite color? Green
When is the last time you laughed? Bathtime
Last time you cried? Forgettable

Some noteworthy items from our weekend so far

1. Baby B has been wonderful all weekend, not throwing any of the super tantrums of last weekend. Thank goodness.

2. I did not overeat at Thanksgiving dinner. I even did a 60-minute cardio DVD later that night. Go me!

3. I’m pretty sure yesterday was the first time we’ve EVER not made anything separate for Baby B. This probably won’t have too often, but I knew there would be enough variety for her to find something she would eat. And my little vegetarian even ate a little turkey.

4. I’ve still got major nasal congestion from my cold three weeks ago. If this hasn’t cleared up by Monday, I’m going to the doctor about it. This is getting ridiculous.

5. We cleaned out/organized the garage today. I joked that we need to hurry up and have #2 so we can get rid of all of our baby crap that is taking up space in the garage waiting to be used next time around. I can’t wait until that stuff doesn’t have to hang around here anymore.

While we’re being thankful

Obviously I have a lot to be thankful for on this Thanksgiving Day whether it’s The Husband, Baby B, our families and friends, or the fact that we’re not struggling like so many other Americans are right now, but I wanted to take a moment to thank everyone who comes here to read my blog on a regular or semi-regular basis. I began (and continue to maintain) this blog solely to chronicle the story of our lives; if I don’t tell our story, then who will? But knowing that there are many of you out there who come here to share in our everyday experiences while offering your own experiences helps me feel like we’re not just our own family unit but instead a small part of something bigger in this world. We’re definitely not alone.

So thank you!

Wordless Wednesday: What to do in a pillow shortage

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Unfit

Can I say how much I loathe toddler clothes right now?

Most 18 month shirts don’t fit Baby B because they don’t accommodate The Toddler Belly, which Baby B displays proudly. However, moving up to 24 month or 2T creates these problems: the shirts are usually superwide but not long enough to cover The Belly, yet the sleeves are about as long as she is tall! That’s just what an active toddler needs…long sleeves to drag through food, art projects, and playground equipment. Lovely. Who are these toddlers who are as wide as Hoover Dam? Surely they must exist, right?

And don’t even get me started on pants! Pants in size 18 months often fit around the waist (somehow) but are too short in length. If we move up to 24 months or 2T, we run into one of two problems: 1) The pants fit around the waist but are superlong in the length, or 2) They are way too big around the waist (and won’t stay up) AND are too long. Or if we find some in that size that do fit in length, they’re way too small in the waist and dig into the previously mentioned Belly.

At her 18-month checkup, Baby B rated at 50th percentile for both height and weight, so it’s not like she has measurements that are way out of the range of norm. So really the only thing we can do is continue to look for The Ideal Clothes, which I know are out there because we’ve managed to snag a few pieces here and there.

Rising like a phoenix from the ashes

“A mythical bird that never dies, the phoenix flies far ahead to the front, always scanning the landscape and distant space. It represents our capacity for vision, for collecting sensory information about our environment and the events unfolding within it. The phoenix, with its great beauty, creates intense excitement and deathless inspiration.” – The Feng Shui Handbook, feng shui Master Lam Kam Chuen

So it is today that I rise up and begin again, like a phoenix rising from the ashes of its former self. Although I don’t think anything I wrote in my post last night was a surprise to The Husband, he felt a little blindsided by my post. My blog generally isn’t my outlet of frustrations; it’s typically me telling the story of my life with my new family. It’s not all sunshine and roses, of course, but I try to keep major issues out of this blog because I look at this as a sort of virtual baby book for our daughter, and who wants that to be cluttered with stories of “this really sucks right now”?

So I just want to emphasize again that The Husband is not a bad father. Not by any stretch of the imagination; I have no idea how we’d function without him. We’ve now talked (again) about some of the current child-rearing issues we’re facing, and he’s brought up new issues that have been bothering him about how we get baby-related tasks done. We both have ways we can improve, and I know we’ll find our rhythm again, as we’ve done before. Sometimes, as Baby B’s needs change, we have to stop and reevaluate how we go about things; we’ve done this every few months ever since she was born. This is just another one of those times.

One of our top priorities is making sure that we look out for Baby B’s best interests, and right now the best thing we can do for her is to be on the same page with each other. It’s not me versus The Husband vs. Baby B. It’s US against HER. In order to conquer this toddlerness, we need to band together and use our combined powers to do battle and come out with a victory.

Defeated heroes

You know that scene from Superman 2 when Clark Kent is beaten up by the man in the bar after he’s given up his superpowers to be with Lois Lane? He’s first hit on the back and falls forward through a pane of glass, landing on the floor.  He immediately recognizes his vulnerability, then gets up, more determined than ever to face his attacker, but then is punched a couple more times and lands again on the floor. He’s beaten, he’s bloodied, and you see his previously unknown weakness that befalls all mortals. That’s about how I feel right now.

I should first say that Baby B is a fantastic, silly, fun toddler 98% of the time. And The Husband is a wonderful, hands-on, loving, devoted father 98% of the time. But when I’m dealing with that other 2% from both of them — especially at the same time — it leaves me feeling not quite sure how to deal with it.

I’ve felt for quite a while like I’ve had this whole mom thing figured out; I’ve felt like an old pro pretty much since we got past that newborn fog after the first 6 or 8 weeks of her life. Sure, issues come up that I don’t know how to deal with at first, but we figure them out, make our decisions, move on, and learn our lessons from how well or poorly things turned out. But recently I’ve had the feeling like I’ve taken on the cloak of Supermom, and when something goes wrong, everything comes crashing down. I started feeling this way in Indianapolis with a simple thing: We accidentally left Baby B’s bib at a restaurant, and I felt like it was my fault because I’m always the one who remembers to check for things like that. But at the same time, I felt like it shouldn’t always be left up to me to check. Or it surfaces in instances when, come Monday morning, I find that I forgot to wash Baby B’s daycare blanket that we have to bring home on Fridays, and I get frustrated both because it didn’t get done and because I hate that I’m the one who always has to remember to do things like that.

The Husband is fantastic at helping out when I ask for help. If I ask him to fold the laundry, he’ll fold the laundry. If I ask him to pack Baby B’s daycare bag and let him know what to include, he’ll pack the bag. But I’m becoming increasingly frustrated that he rarely takes the initiative to do things like that on his own. From what I can see with other families, this seems to be a general male trait, so maybe I’m ridiculous or naive for thinking things can be different, but I hate feeling like I have to be the only one to remember to do so many of the things that help our days run smoothly. I’ve brought this up with The Husband (several times, in fact), and he’s said he hesitates to take the initiative because he’s afraid I’m going to criticize how he does it, which is a valid point. I’ve asked him to put away the laundry, but then got irritated that he didn’t put the sleepers back in the correct drawer, on top of the other sleepers. So, okay, I’ll give him that, and that’s something I’m trying to work on.

I decided that I need to communicate better, let him know the kinds of things that I do without him even realizing it (because how else is he going to know if I don’t tell him?), let him know how I do those things, then let him figure out the best way for him to do them.  But then he’ll wash and fold one load of laundry, act like he hung the moon, then things go back to how they were, with Supermom coming to the rescue yet again.

The big problem is that the man — like many, many men — does. not. listen. Apparently he thinks that I talk just to hear my own voice and not to communicate vital information. So he wants me to let him know the things I do around the house so he can help out more with those daily Supermom things that I take care of, yet he doesn’t listen to half of what I say? How is that supposed to work? I can talk until I lose my voice, but if he’s not listening, nothing is going to change. I can’t win. I’m currently waiting to get an address from him. For his college friends. To send a baby gift to them. That I bought. And wrapped. And wrote the card for. Yeah, I’ve asked for that address at least three times now. Just in the past two days. And you know what that starts to make me feel like? Nagging Wife. And I absolutely hate feeling like Nagging Wife. I hate being put in that position. I have one child; I have no desire to treat my husband like one, too. We’re partners; we’re equals. But I feel like we lose a bit of that when I’m forced to remind him several times, which no matter how kindly I do it, seems to be perceived as nagging by him (not just him; I think most men are like this).

So while I think I have room to improve in this area, I think he does too, and I don’t know how to communicate that any better without seeming like I’m unappreciative of what he does do around here for me and Baby B. But I can’t go on being like Supermom all the time. It’s fine when everything is going well (which it does most of the time, thankfully). But as soon as one link comes out of the chain, the whole things falls apart and I feels incredibly incompetent.

And speaking of feeling incredibly incompetent, all this comes along with a dose of Ornery Toddler. We’ve dealt with typical difficult toddler behavior for a while now, but this weekend Baby B launched things into a completely new realm. At first I thought it was just because she hadn’t napped at daycare on Friday, but she continued the behavior on Saturday afternoon/evening (thankfully not while we were shopping that morning), and for a good part of Sunday. She freaks out disproportionately to whatever is currently frustrating her. This morning it was because we made her come inside from the garage because it was too cold out there. Before dinner it was because we made her stop watching baby videos on YouTube even though she’d been watching them with The Husband for 15 minutes. She cries, she throws herself down, and she’s 100% inconsolable, sometimes for a good half-hour. I’ve got a lot of tricks up my sleeve that have worked in the past, but none of them work when she’s throwing a tantrum of this magnitude. Doing something funny? Don’t think so. Distracting her? Good luck. Ignoring her? She doesn’t even notice.

I can tolerate it for so long, but then something in me snaps and I just have to leave the room immediately because I can’t deal with it. I hate myself during these times because as I’m leaving the room, I’ll say things, not really to anyone in particular, like, “She’s such a brat.” I don’t want to have thoughts like that, let alone say them outloud, and certainly not where Baby B can hear me. And as I mentioned before, she seems to be going through an anti-mom phase right now, and while I know she’s not at the point where she is doing this on purpose to be hurtful to me (there’s plenty of time for that when she’s a teenager), it still comes across as hurtful and it’s hard to accept that she’s acting like that.

This evening I had the pleasure of dealing with all this by myself, as The Husband went to a friend’s house to play a game right before dinner. So I got to deal with her hideous dinnertime antics, which nearly had me pulling out my hair, before doing a storytime that was nearly a complete disaster. (Thankfully bathtime went pretty well, but that was the only thing that did.) I say complete disaster because by the time she was supposed to go into her crib, I’d had enough of her tantrums and her treating me meanly, and I collapsed in the corner crying. No…I was bawling. I haven’t felt that level of frustration since those early newborn days when I really didn’t know what I was doing. I certainly didn’t feel like any kind of Supermom; I felt like all my powers had been stripped away and I was much like Clark Kent in that scene, left crumpled on the floor, beaten up and completely vulnerable.

While I cried, Baby B entertained herself quietly with The Dog, then I began to compose myself but still sat quietly in that corner for another few minutes. I wanted to make sure I was 100% calmed down before going back to her in case she was still pulling her antics. I was also hoping that Baby B might come over to me, wondering what was wrong with Mama. At first she didn’t, which hurt me even more, but then I heard her scooting over and she peeked around the crib at me. I said, “Hi, Baby B. I love you. Mommy needs a hug. Can you give me a hug?” If I’d asked for this any other time this weekend, she would have denied me, without a doubt, but she took the two steps forward and buried herself into my chest, pressing her whole body against mine. I started crying again, gently this time, and repeated over and over: “Baby B, I love you so much. Thank you. I love you so much.” And we sat together on the floor, and I rocked forward and back as she hugged me back, though there was no way she could match how hard I was squeezing her.

I think part of it is that because both Baby B and The Husband are so fantastic 98% of the time, it’s perhaps even harder and more frustrating when we reach those times that are less than ideal. It’s like the fact that I’m fortunate that I don’t have to deal with headaches very often at all, so when I do get a headache, it’s difficult to deal with because it’s not something I’m used to. A headache that would be minor to someone else might feel more major to me because I don’t have as much frame of reference. I feel like it’s the same with Baby B and The Husband, because I really am very, very fortunate they’re both as wonderful as they are most of the time.

Right now I feel like I want to give up and just take the path of least resistance, which is to keep being Supermom, retain all of my mystery duties, and if something is forgotten, then, well, it falls on me. But realistically I know we can’t do it like that, especially whenever Mythical Child #2 comes along and there are even more tasks that need to be done, but I need to figure out how to get The Husband to listen to me with things like this. Even though this seems to be a common male trait, I find it hard to believe that it can’t be overcome. I want to do my part to help delegate some of my mom-only duties (which is a hard thing to do, in a way, to give up that control), but I also need The Husband to do his part, too.

As for Baby B, I don’t have any simple answers. I know this is a stage she’s going through, and I know we just have to weather it the best we can. This might sound bad, but it’s really times like these that I’m very glad that I work during the day and don’t have to deal with this behavior 24/7. It sounds bad, but it helps keep me sane so I can better deal with it (even if I could stand to deal with it differently). I’m also fortunate to get a decent amount of alone time so I don’t have to diffuse every single tantrum. I know she is just going through the necessary steps to become a more independent and self-sufficient person — which is the ultimate goal –and that we have many more battles that loom ahead. And thankfully we have way more fun, memorable moments as a family than we have these types of episodes. I’ll tell you…it makes me want to call my mom right now and apologize for every time I made her feel like a rotten mom, or that she couldn’t do it all. Maybe I just need to keep it in perspective like that and know that we’re doing the best we can. We’re still old pros, just a little less like superheroes.

Doing our part to stimulate the economy

Today with Baby B was much better than last night. I’m sure last night was a combination of no nap during the day and still having some chest congestion and thus not feeling 100%, but boy was it frustrating. And she seems to be going through a phase where she doesn’t want much to do with me, and that was amplified even more last night.

So I began this morning with a bit of dread because we planned to go out and do most, if not all, of our Christmas shopping, and of course I didn’t want Baby B acting in public like she did last night at home. But all was well, she did great, we finished 98% of our Christmas shopping, and we even enjoyed a nice family lunch at IHOP (pecan streusel coffee cake pancakes? Um, yes please). I still have to shop for Baby B and The Husband, but they’re usually pretty easy to buy for, so it’s good to get all of the other stuff bought, especially since we have to mail most of it to out-of-town family.

For sale Free to a good home

Item: 1 un-napped toddler. Almost 22 months old. Girl. Light brown hair, dark brown eyes. Up-to-date on all immunizations.

Standard features:

• Cries for hours at a time after daycare for either no reason or at the slightest provocation

• Wants nothing to do with Mama other than pushing her away and making her feel bad

• Eats almost none of her dinner after you spent a lot of time to prepare it

• None of the usual activities are acceptable to her in any way

• Prefers Daddy, though is a grump for him too

Any takers?

(Deal not valid if my sweet toddler returns in the morning after a good night’s sleep.)

I am no longer my dog’s keeper

Baby B has always liked to feed The Dog pieces of his food from his food dish. It makes her happy and feel like a helper, so we let her do it sometimes, especially if The Dog is being finicky about eating, as long as she washes her hands afterward.

Yesterday I had to stay home with her in the morning because she had a very minor cold and low-ish fever (the fever is what kept her home), and it came time to make her lunch. I’d gone into the garage to get something out of the freezer, and I didn’t latch the door all the way because she likes to make that her job.

I went back to preparing lunch, and she got quiet, but I didn’t think much of it until I heard the unmistakeable sound of dry dog food going into a metal bowl. I turned my head to see that Baby B had stepped into the garage, opened the plastic bin where we keep the dog food, and had gotten a scoop of food for him. I laughed and said, “WHAT in the world are you doing?” She looked up at me excitedly and said, “Foo?”

So now that’s her new chore: feeding The Dog. She did it this morning for his breakfast and for his lunch. (She was feeling better, but she hadn’t been fever-free for 24 hours per our daycare’s requirement, so we erred on the side of keeping her home again.) I’m working with her on understanding that just because The Dog’s food dish is empty doesn’t mean he needs more food right then. As soon as The Dog had eaten breakfast, she started doing the sign for more, reached for the garage door handle, and said, “More foo, Dog-doh?” I explained that he eats at certain times like we do, and I know she didn’t fully understand it, but hopefully she will soon.

Wordless Wednesday: Now YOU pat the bunny!

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Rule #223 re: women

Yesterday I discovered, much to my disappointment, that my favorite pair of jeans has a hole in the butt/thigh area, and they’re not wearable anymore. Not cool. So last night I decided it was time to dig in the closet and pull out all those all pair of jeans/pants that I’d outgrown but still kept. And, much to my delight, I discovered that I had 9 pairs that fit me now that I’ve lost some weight.

Overheard before dinner last night:

Me: “I gained back 9 pairs of pants after going through my closet!”

The Husband: “I thought you were going to say you gained back weight.”

Me (laughing): “No, no Pants! I gained back some pants! It’s almost as good as going shopping!”

The Husband: “Wow, it’s a good thing you kept those pants that didn’t fit anymore.”

Me: “Oh, that’s the thing about women. We never get rid of clothes that are too small. There’s always the hope that we’ll get back into them one day.”

All you need is love

I love her more than cheesecake.

I love her more than sleeping in.

I love her more than golden retrievers.

I love her more than my homemade chicken fingers.

I love her more than fitting into jeans that were too small last year.

I love her more than getting a package in the mail.

I love her more than Friends.

I love her more than pink elephants.

I love her more than sweetened iced tea.

I love her more than taking a nap on a rainy afternoon.

I love her more than getting a compliment on a new sweater.

I love her more than all of the above things combined…and more.

Maid for this

We had the fit to end all fits earlier today, and you know why? Because we had to make Baby B stop Swiffering the kitchen floor, which she’s already been doing for 15 or 20 minutes. No really. We’re talking Tantrum City because we wouldn’t let her continue cleaning the floor. After I’d already had her do some dusting on the furniture in the living room. And Swiffer the foyer floor.

How much longer until she can start washing dishes?

Where is her snooze button?

Ha ha…it looks like I did irritate the sleep gods last night after my post! Baby B slept fine overnight, but we’re used to her sleeping until 9 a.m. on average (and 10 or 10:30 a.m. some recent weekends), so The Husband and I stayed up last night until about 1:30 a.m. (I was working on a Christmas project) because we figured we’d be able to sleep in. Turns out Baby B woke us up at 7:30 a.m. and didn’t want to go back to sleep. (We couldn’t be too upset. She had a dirty diaper, then ran straight to the kitchen and pointed at the counter for us to make her breakfast, so obviously she had a need to get up.) It ended up being fine and we got a few errands done before lunch that we wouldn’t have if we’d slept until 10, but it’s just funny that it came the morning after making that post. 🙂 I know that 7:30 is still sleeping in for some kids (and really, it’s sleeping in compared to our usual weekday 6:30 a.m. wakeup call), but I’ve got my fingers crossed that we make it until at least 8 or 8:30 a.m. tomorrow. 🙂 Perhaps I won’t be staying up until 1:30 a.m., however.

Probably not in the sleep training books

Most experts recommend doing a calm bedtime routine in order to make sure your child is properly prepared for going to sleep, and that was true for Baby B when she was a baby. But she hit toddlerhood and all the rules flew out the window; sleep experts would probably cringe at the pre-bedtime antics we’re up to each night. It may come back to bite us in the butt at some point, but it works for now, and so we go with it.

Bedtime consists of one of us reading stories while Baby B runs around the room doing various things. Sometimes she’ll pull out all of her towels and put them on top of the non-reading parent and make them go “night-night.” Sometimes she’ll go hide behind her crib and pop out to surprise us. Sometimes she’ll purposely get herself stuck behind the futon. Sometimes she’ll “wrestle” with the cat. Very rarely does bedtime involve her sitting calmly in our lap listening to the story being read. She’ll occasionally do that, but it’s pretty infrequent. It feels like a pretty foreign concept in our house.

Before she goes into her crib, we do what we call “upside-downies,” where we flip her upside-down, much to her delight as she squeals and giggles. Once she’s in her crib, I usually leave the room at that point, but The Husband stays in there with her, and she usually holds the side of the crib and jumps up and down in there. To watch this activity, you would swear there’s no way this child is going to sleep anytime soon. But every night, The Husband asks if she’s ready to go to sleep, and she lies down immediately, he covers her up and says goodnight, and he leaves the room and we don’t hear another peep from her. Sure enough, she’s asleep almost immediately.

I don’t see how she can go from extreme energy to being asleep in less than 2 minutes, but somehow she’s mastered it. Even though she was a horrible napper until she hit 11 months, overall we’ve been VERY lucky with her sleep, especially her nighttime sleep, so she’s probably just a freak of nature in that regard. I think some of it was things we did to help encourage/teach her, but I also recognize that some of it was just built into her, so we can’t take full credit. I just want to tell the kid sleep gods that I don’t take that for granted one bit and we don’t need a lesson to put us in our places whenever mythical child #2 is in the picture. Hear that, sleep gods? Are you listening?

What happened next?

I realized recently that I talk about a lot of issues that come up in our day-to-day lives but sometimes don’t give updates later, so I’ll take this chance to do that.

Tummy issues: We’ve started the probiotic, and she may be having a mild reaction to it, so that may have actually been our allergy culprit. We don’t know for sure because if it was a reaction, it was very mild, so we’ll continue the probiotic until we have a reaction similar to before. Hopefully it won’t happen, but we’ll have the Zyrtec ready just in case. And more than anything, we just hope the probiotic helps!

Biting: Baby B had one day a couple weeks ago where she bit one child (on the lips! ouch!), but other than that, we haven’t had a problem with this since the week after Labor Day. That was when she was cutting her canines, and now the biting is coincidentally gone. Her last round of biting was when she was cutting her molars. I hate blaming stuff on teething, but the correlation seems too strong here. Just four more teeth to come in. We’ve had a few signs that her two-year molars may be coming in, but I think we’re still far from those cutting through. I can’t wait until she’s done with getting new teeth. (Well, at least until these baby teeth fall out.)

Picky eating: Baby B is still quite a picky eater, but I think we’re getting better about knowing what foods she will eat and how we can trick her into eating those and other things. We still give her new foods, including what we’re eating that night, and sometimes it’s successful and other times it’s not as successful. I feel like it’s not nearly as stressful an issue now, so either she’s better about it or I’ve become better about dealing with it. Maybe a little bit of both.

My running: I seem to have recovered physically; it took about a full week to feel 100% again. I gave myself that week off from any form of exercise (besides walking The Dog), but I started doing workout DVDs earlier this week. My goal is to lose an additional 10 pounds before packing on the pounds with mythical child #2.

Toddler talk: I was afraid that when Baby B learned to say the name of The Dog, it would come out sounding like penis. Thankfully I was wrong on that; it comes out sounding quite close to the actual name, which I would have sworn would be difficult for her to say.

The scary shadow: We seem to have nipped this one in the bud. She had that couple of days where her shadow was very scary to her, but our approach of making friends with it, dancing with it, and acknowledging it before she had a chance to get scared really seems to have helped. She was quickly back to normal and ignoring the shadow as usual. Now if she does notice it, she might stop, but she doesn’t freak out.

Wordless Wednesday: Prancing with her “pretty”

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My pretty!

As you well know, Baby B has been lacking in the hair department for quite a while, so hair accessories were a non-issue for us (mostly since I think hair accessories should serve a functional purpose in addition to being used for decoration). Baby B’s hair has grown quite a bit in the last few months, and while we don’t need barrettes and ponytail holders quite yet, we’ll need them soon to keep the hair out of her eyes. So this weekend I bought some tiny barrettes (they’re so tiny I can barely hold them without fumbling them) and little ponytail bands.

On the first day, we put in two barrettes to sweep her bangs away from her eyes. She looked in the mirror and got so excited, gently touching the barrettes and saying repeatedly, “My pretty!” We had to take out her “pretty” for her nap (that’s one of my hesitations about hair accessories for young kids…they make excellent choking hazards if they come out), then later in the day she asked for her “pretty” again.

This time didn’t go nearly as well. She’d ask for her “pretty,” then as soon as I made the move toward her head with the barrette, she’d backaway and whine…but then would get frustrated that she didn’t have her “pretty.” Repeat this cycle about ten times and you can imagine the level of frustration I had. She wanted her “pretty” but didn’t want it put in. Can’t have it both ways, kid! The Husband gave it a try, but he had no luck, either. We offered several more times during the day, but she flinched every time, so we gave up and offered again later. She never did let us put it in her hair.

Later in the day, I asked if she wanted her first pigtails. She said yes, not knowing what she was agreeing to. She happily sat on my lap and let me brush her hair, then divide it and put it into two little ponytail holders. No resistance at all. Oh my was it cute! I asked if she wanted to see her new pretty, and she said yes, then went over to the mirror. She took one look at her ‘do and a big, pouty frown took over her face and big tears started forming in her eyes! She’s liked a single ponytail before, so I’m not sure what it was about the pigtails that she didn’t like, but we couldn’t get it out fast enough. Real tears! She almost never cries real tears…and it was about her hair! What a silly girl.

So, the “pretties” didn’t go over so well on the first day, but that’s why I bought them now, to let her get used to them before we need to use them. And if she never does, well, at least that’s one less thing for her to choke on.

Same ol’ crap

I e-mailed Baby B’s pediatric GI doctor this morning (as requested) since it’s been about a month since our appointment and she wanted an update on how the fiber and Miralax treatment is going. I told her that it’s no worse, yet it’s also no better, and I mentioned that we’d like to try the probiotic again before our follow-up appointment in mid-December. We’d tried it right before our first appointment, and it seemed like it might have started to help, but that’s when Baby B developed her allergic reaction, so we had to eliminate that because it was something new we had introduced. I don’t think that was the culprit, but we’ll find out soon enough when we reintroduce it.

She agreed that the probiotic was a good next step and said we should do that once a day, continue the Miralax if it’s not hurting things, and gradually double the amount of fiber supplement we’re giving her. We’ll contact her again if it gets worse, otherwise we’ll wait for our follow-up next month and assess how things are going and what to do next.

She mentioned again that it may be toddler non-specific diarrhea (aka toddler’s diarrhea), which has no known cause, diagnostic test, or treatment, so it’s a matter of ruling out other things. I still believe that’s what it is since she seems to have a pretty textbook case based on symptoms, but we’ll continue with the pediatric GI to see if there are other things we can rule out, or if we can find a way to at least manage it. Toddler’s diarrhea is fairly common, and it’s something they have to outgrow…generally by age 4 or 5. Potentially 2+ more years of this (including during potty training)? Um, no thank you!

Off day

Ever just have one of those evenings where everything is pissing you off, even things that logically shouldn’t make you mad, but they do anyway? Where you feel frustrated and don’t really know why exactly — you can’t pinpoint it and blame anything in particular (even though you supremely take it out on The Husband, even though he probably had little to do with it)? Where you wonder if it’s hormones but hate using that as a cop-out excuse to any random foul mood?

Yeah, that’s my mood tonight. For whatever reason. I think part of it is because I’m used to being on the go all the time, and we had a do-nothing weekend, which was great and much needed, but it’s not really my style these days. Even though I made a couple of trips outside the house for necessary errands, I still felt cooped up somewhat. Perhaps because of the cold weather and the fact that we can’t just go outside and play on a whim. Going outside is harder now — and not really advisable for those of us with colds — so that limits our options for doing things. And I loathe being cold.

Looking forward to seeing what a new day brings.

Speechless

It looks like our go-go-go level of activity over the summer and fall has finally caught up with us, and we’ve got a bit of a sick household this weekend. (Thank goodness we’d planned to do nothing!) The Husband seems to have it the worst, with a complete voice loss, major headache, and congestion that warranted a field trip to the doctor this afternoon. Mine is pretty minor, with minimal congestion, but my voice is almost gone, as well. Baby B has a bit of a runny nose from time to time, but so far hers hasn’t gone any further — and knock on wood that it doesn’t. Really, I’ll take either me or The Husband being sick, but I just don’t want her to be. I often read that the first winter after they turn 6 months old is the worst one as far as illness, so let’s hope that’s the case and we don’t have a repeat of last winter ahead of us. If this is the worst it gets, I don’t think there would be any complaints in our house. And even if there were complaints, it’s not like you’d be able to hear them anyway with all the laryngitis.

Talkin’ tot

Sometimes when I’m tired or super-excited, I feel like I’m babbling and can’t stop myself. I feel like I’m having a conversation with myself and that I can’t escape my endless chatter.

Baby B has taken babbling to a new level in our household.

The formation of actual sentences has been an exciting development for us, as it opens up so much more communication. Sometimes I feel like I’m holding a real conversation with her. But the funniest part is when she babbles on her own, not expecting a response from anyone but herself. We can usually pick out maybe 25% of what she’s saying, but the rest is a completely mystery to us. We call that her silly numpties, a reference from the YouTube video of the funny baby who makes a speech.

My favorite part, however, is when she apparently has conversations with an imaginary bunny (her latest obsession). From the back of the car we’ll hear, “No, Bunny! No, no! Bad, Bunny. Bye-bye, Bunny. No, no!” I’ll glance in the mirror and catch her waving her finger in front of her. I have no idea where this bunny is, but he’s certainly naughty. She also had a recent obsession with pumpkins (punkees), and I guess she found some bad pumpkins, too: “No, punkee! Lay down, punkee!” Obviously these commands come from what she hears us say to The Dog (and she gives these commands to The Dog too), but it’s funny to see her pretending to boss around a poor little (albeit ill-behaved) bunny.

Down for the count

For the record, I’ve decided that I’m tired of counting Baby B’s age in months. I actually hesitated to do it once she turned a year old, but the convention among moms seems to be to keep up with month-counting until at least the second birthday. (Some people seem to count in months even beyond that. I once heard someone say their child was 32 months old. Are you kidding me? I’m not doing that kind of math just to figure out how old your kid is, thankyouverymuch.)

So I’ve decided that from now on, when someone asks how old Baby B is, I’m going to say, “She’ll be 2 in January.” Once she’s 2, she’ll just be 2…or “she just turned 2 in January.” I might consider throwing in the “half” (so, 2 1/2) once she’s close enough to that point, but if you ever hear me say my child is 32 months old, please check on my sanity.

Wordless Wednesday: Finding the finish (finally!)

For more Wordless Wednesday participants, click here.

Running, schmrunning. What about Baby B?

Okay, that’s enough posts about running (er, well, until tomorrow’s Wordless Wednesday); I’ll get back to talking about good ol’ Baby B.

On Friday, we went to her daycare in the morning for their first annual Trunk or Treat. For this event, the parents parked their cars in the parking lot and opened the trunks so they could decorate for Halloween. The teachers then brought the kids around to trick or treat at each car. I think this was a great way to let Baby B experience Halloween, but without having to take her around to houses in the neighborhood. (Not that we were in town to do that, but even if we had been, we wouldn’t have gone this year. I think it’s a little silly to take such young kids to houses unless it’s just to show off a costume and not collect the loot; you might as well put them in a t-shirt that says, “Give my parents some candy.” What does a one-year-old need with 15 Twix bars and 492 Tootsie Rolls?) But the good thing about the Trunk or Treat at daycare was that most people understood we were dealing with younger kids, so the treats people were giving out were more along the lines of Teddy Grahams and Goldfish and stickers, and very light on the chocolate and jawbreakers. Baby B seemed to have a good time doing this. She didn’t quite get down saying, “Trick or treat,” but she certainly understood that she had to open her bag at each car.

What was especially awesome, however, ended up being the costumes that her classmates were wearing: a dog, a duck, a bunny, a bee, and a turtle — all of Baby B’s current animal obsessions! I have to say that Baby B’s costume was unique among her classmates, as she was the only one who wasn’t just a generic animal.

While we were in Indianapolis, we went to the Indianapolis Children’s Museum, once immediately after the race on Saturday and then again on Sunday morning. Supposedly this is the largest children’s museum in the world, and even going there two days, we still saw only a small fraction of what they had to offer. It’s the kind of place that I wish were closer for us (Indy is three hours away) because we’d most certainly have a membership so we could go back regularly. Baby B’s favorite part was probably the carousel on the 4th floor, which she rode twice (once with each of us).  One of my favorite parts was the animation studio, where I got to make some simple stop-motion animation movies.

Of course, the weekend was fun but wasn’t without its challenges. Baby B had napped for about 10 minutes in the car between the race and the museum on Saturday, but she was due for her full nap after we left the museum and went back to the hotel around 2:30 p.m. The plan was to get her down for a nap, which would let us take a nap, as well. Two hours later, she was still crying and/or whining and hadn’t napped one bit, and obviously we hadn’t, either. I’d gotten up early that morning and had finished the race and was tired, and all I wanted to do was nap for an hour or so, but instead I had my patience tested for two hours with not a wink of sleep for anyone. Thankfully she went to bed just fine that night and slept well despite the time change.

Overall, though, the whole weekend was a lot of fun (though a bit draining). Plans for this weekend? Absolutely nothing.

The aftermath

Two days after the race and I’m quite sore, but it’s not really any worse than I was expecting. I have to walk slowly, but I don’t have to hobble, though going down stairs is quite a chore. Thankfully we don’t have stairs in our house, just at work.

I’ve had several people (both here and in real life) ask me questions about my running/races, so I’ll take tonight to answer those.

• You said you’re not going to do another half-marathon or a full marathon, but are you completelydone with running?

My running shoes have been retired for the time being. At this point, I still have no desire to do another long race, though I may consider doing another 5K in the future, though not until spring or summer at least. I’m not a good cold-weather runner, but I can see myself getting out to run on nice days when we have them. I’ve definitely taken the step back from competitive runner to recreational runner.

• Do you still plan to workout?

I’m giving myself a week off to let my body recover from the intensity it endured, and then I’ll get back to doing aerobics, pilates, and some yoga. We also take The Dog for regular walks, so that will be part of my workout regime, too. I really need to get back to eating better; in the last couple of months, I got into the “well, I’m just going to work it off running” mindset, and I don’t have that excuse anymore. My weight loss came to a standstill with the training (and with that poor mindset), and I’d like to lose another 10 to 15 pounds.

• What kind of music do you listen to when running?

During my training runs, my MP3 player had the soundtrack to The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (Broadway version) and then the Rent soundtrack (movie version). I liked running to musicals because I could follow the plot in my head and it helped pass the time better. For the half-marathon, I thought it would be better to have a whole variety of songs to mix it up some, and I think the strategy worked. I had a wide range of stuff from Ace of Base to Aerosmith to Backstreet Boys to other songs from musicals.

• Did you get any kind of certificate or award or trophy or anything for the half-marathon?

Yes, I got a finishers’ medal after crossing the finish line of the race. I’ll try to remember to include a picture of it for Wordless Wednesday.

• I don’t think I could do it. Was it hard?

Yes, it was very hard, but I think it was a challenge that anyone could take on if they dedicate the time and energy to the training. I keep reminding people that I am not a runner by nature. Seriously, if I can do it, then so many others can. In observing the other runners around me, I noticed there was quite a variety of body shapes and fitness levels.

• What did you learn?

As corny as it sounds, I definitely learned that I can do whatever I set my mind to do. This was not an easy project for me to undertake, and I had moments where I questioned my sanity for doing it, but the end result was a good one.  I also learned how important it is to give myself that “me” time. So much of my time is spent taking care of Baby B and our family that it’s easy to lose myself in all that. I gained back not just my body, but also my time with me.

• Are there any moments you won’t forget from your races?

In the 10K, I’ll always remember that dog that ran with me for more than half the race. It was distracting at the time, but in hindsight, it was kind of cool and probably helped keep me running. Seeing The Husband and Baby B at the 12.5-mile mark in Indy and running over to give them a kiss was something else that I’ll always remember. Knowing they were there to cheer me on, and knowing that going over to them helped give me the extra boost I needed to finish the race, well…that’s very special to me. They were two of my biggest supporters through all this, and I couldn’t have done it without them.

On that note, I want to thank everyone here for your support with my running during this past summer and fall.  A lot of my success comes from within myself and my ability to get motivated, but so much of it comes from the encouragement of others. A special thanks to The Husband, who didn’t complain once about all those hours I had to be away from the house (which put him in charge of Baby B if she wasn’t asleep for the night) or about all those leg massages I requested. He believed in me even during the times I wasn’t sure I believed in myself. And another thanks to Serenity, who when I initially mentioned the idea of running a half-marathon back in early July, said (and I quote),  “I think you should go for it. I really think you should try it. You can do it!” I signed up that very afternoon (before I had a chance to chicken out) and never looked back. Without that encouragement — from The Husband, Serenity, and all of you — I wouldn’t feel this incredible sense of accomplishment. Thank you, thank you, thank you.

Monumental achievement

I thought I could. I thought I could. I thought I could. I began yesterday as just someone who was training for a race and ended the day as a half-marathon finisher when I completed the inaugural Indianapolis Monumental Half Marathon.

I couldn’t have asked for a better race. I got tired in the last quarter of the race, of course, but everything went even better than planned. I woke up at 5 a.m. surprisingly well rested and ready to go, and I didn’t feel nervous once. The morning started out a little stressful as we hit standstill traffic downtown when we were trying to park before the race and I got to the starting line just 10 minutes before it began, but after that, it was smooth sailing. (We were stuck within a block of the race start, so if it’d come to it, I could’ve just gotten out of the car and wasn’t in danger of missing the race, but it was a stress that I didn’t need that moment.) I was emotional as I kissed The Husband and Baby B before they left me to go pick a spot beyond the starting line to watch me. When I woke up and checked the weather, I was pleased to find out it was 50 degrees; much better than the low 40s that had been predicted. This meant I could wear my short-sleeved shirt without having to wear a throwaway shirt over it. The morning felt cool at first, but once I’d run the first half-mile, I felt fine, and never at any point during the race did I feel too hot, so it was quite ideal. I saw The Husband and Baby B again as we entered Monument Circle just before the three-mile mark, then I set northward on my own and knew I wouldn’t see them again until the 12.5-mile point.

I made sure to not begin too fast, and I kept close to what I felt was my usual running pace. My realistic goal time for my normal pace was 2:45, but I said I would have been thrilled to break 2:30. I wrote on my inner arm what should be my split times for 3 miles, 6 miles, and 10 miles for the 2:45 pace so I’d know how I was doing. (I would’ve just memorized it, but I was afraid I’d forget in the moment.) We received our 3-mile times, and I looked at my watch to see that I was several minutes ahead of the pace. The same was true for the 6-mile split time, but it wasn’t until I heard the 10-mile time that I believed I had a shot to hit 2:30 instead. I saw The Husband and Baby B at the 12.5-mile point, and I ran over and hugged and kissed both of them quickly, and that helped give me the boost I needed to make it the last 0.6 miles and see them at the finish line.

The last couple of miles were difficult, not just because of fatigue but because of the emotion of it all — knowing how close I was to finishing after all this time and all this hard work, and hearing people on the sidewalks saying, “You’re almost there! You can do it!” — but I pushed through and beat my ideal goal time by 18 seconds. Unbelievable.

My left ankle began hurting a little bit around mile 6, but it seemed to get better by about mile 8. (Not coincidentally, I’d taken a Tylenol around mile 6.) Other than that, the only other annoyance I had was that the seam on my shirt sleeve started rubbing the underside of my arm a little raw, but that was pretty minor. I was very thankful that my shins didn’t give me problems (occasional shin soreness was always my biggest training challenge). In fact, I didn’t even think about my shins until about mile 10 when I realized they weren’t giving me a problem. No problems with asthma. No issues with my headphone cord bothering me (which they did sometimes on training runs).

It’s funny, though, because so much of the race route is already a blur to me, even just a day after the race. That’s both good and bad, of course. It’s bad because it means my memory of the actual race will fade quickly and I soon won’t be able to remember specifics (which is why I want to write this now). But it’s also good because the reason a lot of the race is a blur is because I was so focused inward on what I needed to do that my surroundings were secondary. (I mean, I was aware enough of what was going on around me for safety reasons, but I was able to find the “zone” that I needed to be in.)

There are some things I do remember, however…things I don’t want to forget. I think I’ll need to do them in bullet points since they’re kind of scattered, so please forgive me that.

*Going through the Meridian Park neighborhood around mile 7 and mile 9 was probably my favorite part. So many residents were out on their front lawns or in their driveways cheering us on, and there were handmade signs scattered along the route encouraging us, and I can’t say how much that means when you’re just starting to get tired. Several neighborhood kids were on the street writing chalk messages to us: “Way to go!”, “Meridian Park loves runners!”, and “This is the only uphill in the race!” You could feel the sense of community and involvement in the neighborhood, and it was great to be a small part of that. In looking up some information about the neighborhood for this post, I found their neighborhood’s blog where they encouraged the residents to get out and support the runners. I was very touched, and I really wish they could know how much it helped not just me, but many others.

*We got to our north-most point, 38th Street, and headed back toward downtown via Meridian Street the entire way. It was a bit daunting to see how far the downtown buildings were at that point, but it was nice to know we were past our halfway point and every step was truly a step closer to the finish line.

*Around mile 6, the marathoners and half-marathoners split up, and we met up again at our 8-mile mark. From that point on, they listed the mile markers for both races, so it was a good mind game to look at the mile points for the marathon and pretend I’d come that far. “Twenty-two miles? Sure, I can do another four!” Much better than thinking you’ve still got four left out of 13.

*I loved the encouragement from the bystanders, both the ones who were there to support someone they knew and those who just happened upon the race because they were in the area. But my favorite comment was from a mom to her probably 10-year-old daughter: “You wouldn’t believe all the hard work these people have done in order to get here.” So true.

*We went through Monument Circle just before the three-mile mark, as I mentioned before, but we also went through again around the 12.5-mile point. Since we approached Monument Circle from Meridian Street (which runs north-south right into the circle), we could see the monument for several miles ahead of time. Actually reaching Monument Circle again — to the extra cheers to onlookers and knowing we were so close to the end — was a fantastic moment.

*I held it together as I crossed the finish line, but I did start crying once The Husband and Baby B found me and gave me a hug. Partly from the sense of accomplishment, but partly because of the relief that it was all over. If I was inclined to run a full marathon before — and I wasn’t at all — I’ll say that I’m even less interested in doing that now. Kudos to those who can do it, but I just don’t see it on my agenda. I don’t even have a desire to run another half; I’m super happy with my finish time, and I don’t see how I could realistically do better. This is the perfect note to begin and end on.

(Note: A few photos to come on Wordless Wednesday for November 5.)

Run a half-marathon? CHECK!

I don’t have much time to go into detail, but I just wanted to mention that the race today went perfectly, and I finished in 2:29.42…18 seconds under my ideal goal time!  Temperature at race time was 50 degrees, which was a nice surprise since we were expecting lower 40s.  I’m very happy with how things went; I felt very prepared and properly trained.  I wouldn’t say it was easy, because it was hard, but I think it was “easier” than I was expecting.

Gotta run…these legs need a nice soak. 🙂 I’ll update on Sunday with more details.

(This post begins my participation in the NaBloPoMo challenge.)