FIVE!!!

Wordless Wednesday: The best cake ever!

Having her cake and sharing it too

The Big Sis turns 5 on Friday, and her birthday party will be on Saturday. When we were talking about her cake for the party (which we will get from a bakery), she said she wanted written on it: “Big Sister [Name] and Little Sister [Name].”

“But, sweetie, it’s your birthday! Shouldn’t it have just YOUR name on it?” I asked. But she kept insisting, so we came up with a compromise. In addition to the party cake, we’d bake a cake at home — and I’d let her make the whole thing all by herself — and then I would write on there whatever she wanted. She was happy with that solution.

So she made the cake last night, and today was decorating day. We’d gotten some glitter gel for writing, but I wasn’t sure how well it would write on the cake and how legible it would turn out, so I warned her that I might not be able to write all of her requested cake message. I suggested that maybe instead of words, she could use the gel to draw some pictures and decorations.

She said, “Well, maybe I could just put ‘Big Sister [Name]‘ on there.” I told her that would work.

But then she hesitated. She said very thoughtfully, “Well, since my sister is so new and she hasn’t had her own birthday yet, maybe we could write just ‘Little Sister’ on there.”

“On your cake?” I asked. “That’s all you want?”

She declared that’s all she wanted on there.

Turns out we were able to get both of them on the cake, but I’m still just floored that she had the chance to have her own name on her cake — her once-a-year chance to make it all about her, and for the first birthday after her life became not-nearly-all-about-her — and yet she was choosing to have her sister’s name on there instead.

What a sweet girl.

Bring on the ice cream!

Ever have one of those days that’s just one of those days?

That’s been my day today. Mostly about work stuff, so I won’t bore anyone with details, but suffice it to say that I’ve had better work days.

I actually enjoy what I do, but it’s days like today where I have to repeat my mantra: I’m thankful I have a job. I’m thankful I have a job. I’m thankful I have a job.

Where’s the ice cream?

Loose ends

It’s Friday night and it’s been a long week, therefore I don’t feel like writing coherently, at least not with transitions and such. I’m working on a bigger post, but for now this will have to do:

*The Little Sis had to stay home from daycare on Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday, but she returned there today. Health-wise she seems to be back to normal. She’s still a little fussy, which just isn’t like her, but she’s improved each day. Unfortunately, this ear infection has messed with her sleeping big time, and it hasn’t helped that the (NEW) swing broke earlier this week. A replacement motor head is on its way from Fisher Price, but that doesn’t help us while we wait.

*Each day, The Little Sis is becoming more steady with sitting up, though she still can’t be trusted to sit there alone yet because it’s likely she’ll topple over in one direction or another at some point.

*The Big Sis’ drama class is going well, and she really seems to be enjoying it. I’m glad we decided to have her do it. It’s not something we can do very often since it does require that The Husband leave work early, but it’s nice to add to our rotation of classes. I think next up she’s going to do the Y’s “Little Chefs” class.

*I’ll probably get into this a little more with the bigger post I’m working on, but we have decided to severely limit The Big Sis’ exposure to TV, as it’s become quite clear that it negatively affects her behavior. She watched no TV before age 2, but once she broke her leg, we started letting her watch stuff, and it just got out of control once The Little Sis arrived and we needed occasional distractions for her. She now has an incentive system wherein she has to buy TV time. For each day, she has the opportunity to earn one gemstone (she picked amber), and we’ll have the choice to give her bonus stones for exceptionally good behavior. She can buy a TV show for 2 stones, or she can buy a movie for 4 stones. Her behavior is much improved since we cut back on TV a couple weeks ago, and I’m hoping that our incentive system will also teach her lessons about budgeting and saving in terms she can understand.

*The Big Sis has really gotten into painting with watercolors over the past few weeks. That’s the first thing she wants to do when she arrives at school each morning when they have free play before circle time.

*The Big Sis tends to be super grumpy when we have to go in and wake her up on school days. However, we have figured out the perfect solution to that: Wake up The Little Sis first and take her in The Big Sis’ room. It’s amazing how quickly her mood turns, and within seconds of some sister snuggle time she’s happy and ready to get up.

*The Big Sis has now asked for a new puppy. She wants a golden retriever. (Another one.) She wants it to be a girl. She wants to name it Marcia. I explained that The Little Sis is a lot of work right now, so we can consider getting one when both girls are old enough to help take care of a dog. I asked when she thought that was. She said when The Little Sis is 4 years old. I agreed…yes, we will consider another dog when The Little Sis is 4. Any chance she’ll forget by then? I’m not holding my breath.

Wordless Wednesday: Oh, sweetie, that’s how *I* feel about bows too!

First

First smile…

First laugh…

First…ear infection.

[sigh]

It began a couple days ago with gunky, crusty eyes for The Little Sis, which last time she had with a cold and the doctor said that could be a sign of an ear infection (last time it wasn’t one). This time she had no cold symptoms, but first had the yucky eyes then developed a fever today, and I strongly suspected ear infection. Sure enough, The Husband took her to The Pediatrician and her right ear is infected.

Her first EI at just over 5 months old. Here’s hoping it’s not the start of a trend of ear infections leading to tubes like it did for The Big Sis. The Little Sis is just like The Big Sis in many ways, and that’s one way I want them to be very different!

Wordless Wednesday: Double take

A picture is worth a thousand baby outfits

We are done with two children. About that, there has never been any doubt. I’ve occasionally let myself play the “what if?” game and entertain the idea of a third just to make sure I’m confident in that assertion…but then always very quickly come back to the initial decision, basically before I’ve finished the initial thought.

However, I’ve always been a little afraid that something unexpected would catch me off-guard and I’d find myself longing for another child even though it’s something we’ve never considered at all.

I passed the first such test when I recently gave to a coworker some of our baby items that we’re done with — and also packed up some baby clothes to give to a friend who is due in the spring, including the tiny newborn size and some of my favorite itty-bitty baby outfits. I know that a lot of moms, whether they’re done with children or not, have trouble packing up the clothes, either to put them away in storage or to give them away. Memories are made in those clothes, and we often attach a great sense of importance and meaning to them.

Honestly, I’ve always kind of felt like an outsider in that regard. Yes, I have my favorite baby outfits, but I guess I’ve always just looked at them as things — not as the memories themselves. For a long time now I’ve been trying to figure out why I don’t have that emotional attachment to the clothes, and it recently hit me: I take pictures all the time — nearly every day, even if we’re just hanging out around the house. The memories are contained not only in my mind but in those photos. I look at them to take me back to that place and time, so I guess I don’t feel the need to keep the clothes in a storage tote in the garage for an indefinite amount of time. I did keep their hospital outfits, as well as one dress that was handmade by The Husband’s aunt, but so far that’s all I’ve kept. And confession: Even then, I didn’t feel the need to keep them, but just felt like I should. At one point I had considered making a quilt out of the baby clothes, but for some reason that doesn’t feel quite right, either, though it’s harder to put into words why.

It does help that so far I’ve been able to pass clothes and other things to people I know — both first-time moms — so I know they’re going to be used well and appreciated. I do have a couple boxes of clothes packed up and ready to sell, and I’m okay with that, though I’ll pass them on to someone if a recipient comes along before I sell them. My memories were made in those clothes, and they can go on to have another life providing memories for other families.

In fact, getting rid of the clothes has been the ultimate affirmation that we are indeed very happy with our two children and do not, in fact, desire more.

So I will continue to take pictures of my children in abundance, holding onto those adorable clothes not physically but in picture form, and being thankful that we had the opportunity to dress another child in those adorable clothes each morning.

The toenail polish

The other day, The Husband looked at my poor, neglected toes and wondered aloud, “Why don’t you take the rest of that nail polish off?”

Admittedly, the purple nail polish was looking a little ragged. At the end of summer, I tend to have my toenails looking great until that last time I wear open-toed shoes, then I often let the polish wear away on its own. This was no different. Or was it?

I said to him, “I can’t bring myself to.”

Confused, he appropriately asked, “Huh?”

I said, “I can’t. Because it’s from that spa pedicure I had. You know, right before my water broke with The Little Sis.”

I can’t really explain why I can’t just use some remover and take the rest of it off. There’s not much left there anyway. It serves no real purpose for being there. Yet I want to let it wear away completely on its own.

In a weird way, it’s almost the exact opposite of The Little Sis — as my pedicure looks uglier with every day that passes, The Little Sis becomes more and more beautiful.

I have many other things that connect me to that experience, yet for some reason that’s one I hung on to. And so I will get the full mileage (and beyond!) from this pedicure. For no other reason than it just reminds me of a very special time in my life.

(My sincerest apologies for a picture of feet. I mean, ewwwwww, right? Further proof that this blog is primarily for my record-keeping, because if it were solely for everyone else, I certainly wouldn’t post that. Thank you for putting up with it.)

Sitting up

She’s not sitting up reliably on her own all of the time, but she’s getting less wobbly for longer periods of time. It won’t be long before we can sit her upright and we won’t have to have hands at the ready just in case!

Five months!

By andbabybmakes3 at 2012-01-07

Catching up

*The whole sleeping thing really came unglued with The Little Sis earlier this week, culminating in a night in which she didn’t get to sleep until 12:30 a.m. and then I had to wake her at 6:30 a.m. Not nearly enough sleep for most people, let alone a baby her age (and one that routinely sleeps 12 to 14 hours consecutively at night). At that point we were pretty much at the end of our rope, unable to solve the sleep mystery that had gripped our house. The next night, I made a big effort to get her to bed even earlier. We’d had a consistent bedtime of around 6:30 or 6:45 p.m.since I returned to work, but the craziness of the holidays made us a little lax in that area, and I’m wondering if that’s what caused the issue…the past two nights I got her to bed at 6:15 p.m. and 6:05 p.m., respectively, and she slept through without a peep until we woke her at 6:30 a.m. And right now, night three, I got her to bed at 6:15 p.m. and so far she’s been silent for five hours — quite a departure from how things were earlier in the week. Getting her to bed that early presents definite issues on weeknights, mainly getting dinner made on time since we usually don’t get home until between 5:30 and 5:45 p.m. and The Husband isn’t home until at least 6 p.m. and sometimes closer to 6:15 p.m., but I’d much rather deal with that than the sleep issue. I don’t know if the problem has been solved permanently, but I’m appreciating it for the moment.

*The Husband picked up The No-Cry Sleep Solution from the library on Thursday. So far it seems as though just having the book in the house has made her sleeping better. (Score!) Seriously, though, I plan to read through the book so I’m armed with some tips for the next sleep regression phase, whether that’s tomorrow night or in a few months. Side note, though: Why in the WORLD is there not an audio version of this book available at the library? Aren’t sleep-deprived parents a bit short on time to be reading such a book?

*I’m feeling very good about my milk supply at this point. I now have just over 1,400 ounces of milk in the freezer, and each day I’m able to bag up about four or five 4-oz. bags of milk beyond what The Little Sis gets each day. I know this could tank at any moment, but here’s hoping that’s not the case. For the record: I still hate pumping, but I must say it’s not nearly as bad with the pumping bra that I fashioned myself from an old too-tight bra that I should’ve gotten rid of long ago.

*The Little Sis is starting to get stronger with sitting in a tripod stance, though she’s still pretty wobbly when she tries to sit unsupported without putting her hands on the ground. Still, it’s neat to see her getting stronger with this every day. In other milestone news, she still hasn’t rolled from back to front yet, but I suspect that’s coming any day.

*The Little Sis will be five months old tomorrow. How is that even possible??

*The Big Sis started a drama class at the Y this week. She attended her first class on Thursday, and so far so good. It’s taught by the same woman who taught her ballet class over the summer, and we liked her a lot, so I’m optimistic that this will be a good thing. I’m not sure how regular a thing we can make it, though…the only time the class is offered is Thursdays at 4 p.m., and The Husband asked his boss if he can leave early that day for the eight weeks of the class. His boss has been flexible and agreed to the arrangement, but I doubt it could be a permanent thing. Still, I’m glad he’s able to work it out for her to attend this class, and we’ll see where this goes.

*The Big Sis has been doing AWESOME with her bedtimes over the past two or three weeks. I don’t know what clicked for her — I don’t know if she took pity on us for dealing with The Little Sis’ sleep disaster or what — but I’m so glad it clicked, whatever it was. Fingers are majorly crossed that this continues.

*The Big Sis will be five years old in three weeks. Three weeks! Five!

*Kindergarten registration starts next month. The Big Sis will begin kindergarten in just seven months. Oh my!

 

Wordless Wednesday: Family pinwheel

Off the treadmill

For the past few years, it’s felt like I’ve lived my life on pause, on a treadmill that I couldn’t get off. While we most certainly appreciated the life we had with The Big Sis, we always knew there was something more — something missing — that we needed to find before we could take those real steps forward.

And we did indeed find it this year. The Little Sis has been all we ever wanted and more.

Even when she takes 2+ hours to go to sleep at night.

In the midst of such frustrations, there’s always a voice in the back of my head that reminds me that I’d much rather be frustrated over putting a baby to sleep than frustrated because we can’t get off the damn treadmill.

So 2011 began with a tiny glimmer of hope, as I was pretty newly pregnant … and it ends with an amazing 4.5-month-old baby that has taken her place in our family seamlessly. It seems like she’s always been with us.

May 2012 be a year of taking many steps forward and truly taking in these wonderful moments with these awesome girls. We will laugh. We will cry. We will travel. We will stay home. There will be ups. There will be downs.

But there will be fun.

And there will be love.

XOXO

Happy New Year!

I give

I give up. We have tried to get this baby to sleep for more than 2 1/2 hours tonight.

We’ve tried nearly everything we can think of, including a very, very modified “cry it out” while checking on her at intervals, and nothing has worked.

She fell asleep within seconds of being put in the swing. And will likely sleep there until 8 or 9 a.m. tomorrow morning.

The crib is impossible and isn’t conducive to sleep now that her sleep cycle has changed. I really don’t know what to do anymore. Nothing works. Except the swing.

So apparently the swing it is.

I guess she’ll be sleeping in the swing until she’s 12.

At least.

Won’t that be awkward for slumber parties.

Wordless Wednesday: Christmas smiles

Regression

The four-month sleep regression. The four-month wakeful period. I always heard these interchangeable terms mentioned by other parents, but we never really experienced this with The Big Sis. Basically the gist is that babies’ sleep patterns change around the four-month mark, and they begin a sleep pattern more like an adult’s. At this point they do not enter a deep sleep immediately like they had before, so if you put them down to sleep before they’ve reached that deep sleep, they can easily wake up and you have to begin rocking them again (or doing whatever it was that got them to sleep in the first place). Also, a child’s sleep cycle is about 45 minutes to an hour, so often after that first hour after they’ve gone to sleep at night, they wake up and can’t get back to sleep if they’re missing any of their initial sleep associations like motion or a pacifier.

I won’t go into the mind-numbing details of our situation, but that pretty much describes it to a T. It takes a while for The Little Sis to get to sleep, then we lie her down and her eyes pop open immediately. Once we finally DO get her to sleep, she wakes up about an hour later and we have to start all over. At this point, this usually ends with us trying to get The Little Sis to sleep in the crib again but ultimately putting her in the swing, where she happily snoozes the rest of the night because she has her trusty sleep association of motion all night long, so if she does wake up between sleep cycles, she can easily get back to sleep. This obviously can’t be our long-term solution, and I’m not sure yet how we’re going to deal with it, but for now it’s a matter of trying our best and seeing if we can wait it out. I’m thankful that at this point we’re just dealing with this at bedtime and not overnight, but I’d love to move past this stage soon because it eats into what little free time I have in the evenings, meaning I stay up longer than I should and I’m very sleepy the next day even though I didn’t have to deal with a baby overnight.

We’ve tried nearly every combination we can think of: swaddle, no swaddle, pacifier, no pacifier, sleep sack, no sleep sack, nightlight on, no nightlight, etc — and multiple combinations of those things. So far we haven’t hit upon the right sleep association to replace the motion thing, but we’ll certainly keep trying. (I know many people will point out that she’s old enough for cry-it-out methods, but I’m not quite willing to try it as a first option. I’m not ruling it out for good, as I try not to ever say never, but I don’t think it’s appropriate for us in our situation at this time.) She does seem to like the wave sounds on her crib aquarium, and she often wakes up seconds after that kicks off, so I picked up a white noise machine that stays on longer than the crib aquarium (which shuts off after about 7 minutes). I’m not expecting that to be the miracle cure, but I’m hoping we can begin the process of switching to that sleep association rather than the motion. It won’t be an instant success, I’m sure, but we’ll figure it out eventually.

Christmas Eve reflection

‘Twas the night before Christmas
And all through the house
Not a creature was stirring,
Not even a mouse.
The children were nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.

The children.

Children — plural.

This is such an unbelievable dream come true. I love these two children with every atom in my body. Even when I want to pull out my hair from frustration when I’m not effectively dealing with a situation. Even when I think about how wrecked my body is because of pregnancy and childbirth times two. Even when I realize my life isn’t nearly as simple as it used to be.

But I know all too well that not everyone’s deepest desires come to fruition. Some people I know are still trying to start their family, while others are aiming to expand it. No matter the situation, I know firsthand how difficult an occasion like Christmas can be when you’re unsuccessful in trying for a child. What seems like not that long ago, you were saying, “Maybe next Christmas we’ll have that baby…” Which then turns into, “Well, maybe by next Christmas I’ll at least be pregnant.”

But that Christmas comes and goes and you’re no further along in the process, so you set your sights on the next Christmas. “Maybe by then we’ll have that baby here. Or at least be pregnant.”

Christmas is one of those time markers that especially stings because so much of it is family/child-centered. Piling the kids in the car to look at Christmas lights in the neighborhood. Letting the little ones decorate cookies for Santa. Going to the mall to get that picture with Santa. Attending Christmas Eve services with other families. Plopping on the floor by the Christmas tree to open presents together while Christmas music plays in the background. Enjoying a plentiful Christmas meal with multiple generations assembled at the dinner table.

This Christmas is a different one for me — for my family. We are celebrating as a family of four for the first time, and it just feels right. It took us a long time to get here, and now that we’re here, I am so happy to say that the view is just as grand as I’d hoped.

But also on my mind this Christmas are those I left behind when I found success. Those whose family makeup doesn’t quite match the picture they had in mind. Those who get their hopes up each month only to have them dashed again and again. Those who have put so much into the reproduction process only to come up empty. Those who have come to be content with their current family picture but still long so much for something more.

I think of those of you often, but I’m especially thinking of you all on this Christmas Eve.

May the best gift of all find its way to you soon.

Staredown!

E-mail to Santa

Following is The Big Sis’ letter e-mail to Santa Claus, as dictated to me this week:

Dear Santa,

I have been good and don’t forget what I want for Christmas. Have you had a good evening? How’s Mrs. Claus? And don’t forget I want that kitchen castle and also that Belle costume and my princess play tent and princess dolls. And my purses. How’s your wife? I have been a good sister to my baby sister. Maybe she could have something for Christmas. Maybe it could be a new clothes or maybe she could have some more baby shoes. How are you doing, Santa? What if my baby sister would like a few more shoes? I hope both of you are okay. Maybe I could have the things I asked for. I will keep being a good girl. You better be good. Maybe we play a lot, me and [The Little Sis] and Mom and Dad sometimes.

Good evening, Santa and Mrs. Claus.

Wordless Wednesday: Million-dollar grin

Gifts

On the Sunday before Christmas, I saw a woman on the side of the road at an intersection with the following sign:

Single mom of 3
needs Christmas presents.
Anything is good.

No one stopped when I was at the intersection, but she had a few games/toys at her feet from others in a giving mood.

I admit, the first thought I have when I see panhandlers isn’t generally very nice, and this was no exception. But this one kept eating at me long after I had driven through that intersection. Okay, so I’ll give her the benefit of the doubt with her story. If that’s indeed true, I can’t imagine how desperate she must have been that she felt the need to stand on the side of the road and ask for gifts for her children. I can’t imagine that was the proudest day in her life, yet probably a move she doesn’t regret when it comes to doing what she can to make her kids happy, especially at Christmas.

We are not rolling in money — not even close — and things are tighter now financially with daycare times two and with hospital bills piling up. But we are so fortunate to have jobs that allow us to provide the necessities and some extras for our children. We cut back on spending for Christmas gifts for the girls this year, which I hated to do, but seeing a mom beg for presents on the side of the road really put things into perspective for me. We really are so very fortunate.

Of course!

And guess who busted out of her Miracle Blanket last night, just after I said something about it here. Too funny! We’ll see how this goes and decide whether to de-swaddler The Little Sis officially.

Wordless Wednesday: Just dance

Christmas is coming

Yikes, it looks like we’re already halfway into December. After the daily writing of NaBloPoMo, I usually need to take a break from blog posts, and that I did. My motivation still isn’t quite there yet, but I also don’t want it to be too long between posts, either. So that means one thing: bullet points! I know you’re totally psyched, so enjoy!

*The Little Sis continues to do well in the crib. She is still swaddled and so far isn’t showing any signs of breaking out of the swaddle yet, so we may just keep going with it until she does break out (or until she begins rolling regularly and it’s no longer safe to keep her swaddled).

*The Big Sis is a master burper. I can attempt to get a burp from The Little Sis for five full minutes and come away unsuccessful. But if I ask The Big Sis to do it instead of me? She gets one out of her after two or three pats. She’s kind of magic.

*Like with The Big Sis, we plan to wait on solids until six months, though we’ll be getting her a new highchair for Christmas so she’ll be able to practice sitting at the table with the rest of us.

*The other day, I showed The Big Sis her own four-month picture, but I pretended it was a picture of The Little Sis. The Big Sis asked when it was taken — today or yesterday? I asked her what she thought; she said she thought it had been taken the day before because she was wearing a different outfit then. I then told her, “You know what? It’s actually a picture of YOU when you were The Little Sis’ age. Doesn’t she look like what you did when you were that age??” You know what she did? She got MAD at me, because she thought I was tricking her about THAT. She really thought it was a picture of The Little Sis. Their physical similarities certainly continue.

*We didn’t have the video monitor when The Big Sis was a baby; we got that when she was 2 1/2 years old. But I have to say…while I still think the video monitor is a luxury item that’s not really necessary, I do find it VERY useful to have, and it’s hard to imagine not using it before.

*The Big Sis’ visit with Santa went very well this year. She said she had so many things to ask for and was afraid she would forget them all. So to help her narrow her focus, I had her cut gift ideas out of store ads, and I let her pick three pictures to tape onto a piece of paper she could take to Santa. She was a little quiet when talking to him, but she did get across her gift wishes: a princess tent, a set of princess Barbie dolls, and a dog carrier/purse thing. As much as the princess thing bothers me, we did get her the first two items from Santa, and I know she will love them.

*I think Christmas inflatables are tacky. There, I said it. But what is ultra tacky? Our next-door neighbor’s inflatable snowman dressed in hunting cammo complete with a huge rifle taller than the damn snowman. Love being greeted by Hunter Snowman when I come home. (Not.)

Four!!!

The Little Sis and I bundled up and headed to The Pediatrician for her four-month appointment yesterday. (Side note: How come my pregnancy couldn’t have passed as quickly as the past four months have??) I love booking one of the first appointments of the day, as we usually have almost no wait, and this was no exception. I got her undressed and they measured her length (24.5 inches), measured head (16 inches), and then weighed her (14 lb. 6.5 oz.). For all three measurements, she came in at 50th to 75th percentile, so she evened out her proportions some since her two-month appointment (she was heavy and short then). She was three-eighths of an inch shorter than The Big Sis band 5 oz. heavier. Much more even than at the two-month appointment, when The Little Sis was two full pounds heavier than The Big Sis.

I had to answer the milestone/development questions, which included:

*When your baby is sitting, can he/she hold his/her head steady?
*Can your baby hold a rattle?
*Does your baby laugh in response to things?
*Does your baby look at his/her hands?
*Can your baby console him/herself?
*Does your baby express his/her wants (hunger, pain, etc.) with different cries?
*Does your baby respond to your voice?

(Yes, I jotted them down.)

The Pediatrician came in and examined her (verdict: nice and healthy!) and asked a few more development-type questions, such as how she’s eating, how she’s sleeping, and if she’s rolling yet. I did ask him about some reflux-type symptoms we’ve had pop up in the past few days, but he confirmed my suspicion that it’s not as common for it to develop at this point and it’s probably related to something else like overeating or teething. He did see some tooth buds just under the surface on the bottom, though of course who knows how long those will take to pop through. Could be a week away, could be months and months. (In fact, I joke that The Little Sis is going to be 10 months old and will surprise me with a mouth full of teeth since I’m not inclined to check for them at this point. Yes, some babies get teeth at 4 months old, but it usually happens later.)

The Pediatrician declared her healthy, then it was time for the nurse to come in and give The Dreaded Shots. She had a repeat of the set of shots she had at 2 months old, starting with the oral rotovirus vaccine that she gulped down. I’m pretty sure if she could talk, she would have said, “Oh, please can I have some more of that? I can’t get enough!” Then came the three shots, which of course weren’t nearly as pleasant, but she got them, she cried, I calmed her, she stopped crying. Easy peasy. Short-term pain for a good long-term result. I’ll take 30 seconds of crying instead of, say, polio or diptheria.

********

Yesterday was the one-year anniversary of my positive beta test, confirming the beginnings of The Little Sis. And here we are, one year later, with a sweet, adorable, happy, laid-back, amazing little girl who has seamlessly joined our family. It’s funny how it works — before we knew of her existence, we had this large missing piece — yet now that she’s here, it feels like she’s been here all along and like she was never missing after all. She is everything we could have asked for and more.

Wordless Wednesday: Ms. Smiley McSmilerson

Milestones

I hadn’t planned on writing today, as I need a little break after NaBloPoMo, but I wanted to note these milestones:

1. I hit 1,000 ounces of milk in the freezer this week. I hate pumping, but it’s nice to see a plentiful stash that should go to good use.

2. The Little Sis rolled over (belly to back) for the first time this evening! Admittedly we do very little tummy time, especially now that we don’t have much time with her in the evenings after work (we basically get home, get unpacked, I feed her, and then she’s in bed), so I decided to do it tonight. The Husband had just gotten home and she started fussing some, then she started to roll and over she went!

Wordless Wednesday: Santa baby

Some hodge and some podge

*For the past few weeks, I’ve been experiencing the postpartum hair shed. This is not something I experienced with The Big Sis, so it’s totally new to me. And a little freaky. Normal, but freaky.

*I have spotted in some form every single day since having the Mirena put in. For those counting, that would be over 5 weeks. I’m unsure at this point how patient I want to be with this to see if it goes away.

*Our latest approach to bedtime woes: The Big Sis has to be asleep by 9 p.m. if she wants to watch her TV show (“Wild Kratts”) in the morning before school. We’ve done this for about a week and a half now, and wouldn’t you know she’s been asleep by 9 p.m. each night. Of course, with each new approach we try, we have immediate success and then it all seems to fall apart sooner or later, so I can’t say I’m expecting long-term success with this, but you never know. We’ve got to do something.

*This happened a while ago (November 20), but The Little Sis did her first REAL laugh. The Big Sis and I were doing a bath in the tub with the Little Sis, and they were facing each other. The Big Sis was making silly faces at her and out came her “ha ha ha.” Love it!

*The Little Sis did perfectly in the crib last night. Getting her to sleep tonight took about an hour, but I think (hope) she’ll last the night now. That’s the hope anyway!

In the crib, yo

With much nervousness, we decided to make the switch from the swing to the crib overnight for The Little Sis during the Thanksgiving weekend. Our general approach was to put her in the crib to start with, make an effort to get her back to sleep in the crib if she woke up, but put her in the swing if that didn’t work within a reasonable amount of time. This is how it went:

Night 1: She settled pretty well, and it took maybe 30 minutes to get her to sleep. (Not a continuous 30 minutes of rocking her or anything, but going in every 5-10 minutes to replace the pacifier and turn on her crib aquarium wave sound.) She slept until about 3:30 a.m., a reasonable effort was made to get her back to sleep in the crib, but she was moved to the swing for the rest of the night, where she slept just fine.

Night 2: She settled about the same as Night 1, then woke up around 1:30 or 2 a.m. Almost no effort was made to get her back to sleep in the crib, and she slept fine the rest of the night in the swing.

Night 3: She settled very easily, requiring just one or two pacifier replacements before going to sleep at bedtime. She fussed a couple times during the night, but each time one of us just had to go replace the pacifier and turn on the waves and she was back to sleep without us having to pick her up. She slept until about 7 a.m.

Night 4: Just perfect. She required only one pacifier replacement when going to sleep, then she slept all night in the crib until she woke up at 6:30 or 7 a.m. She did fuss a couple of times during the night, but each time she was able to get herself back to sleep within probably 20 or 30 seconds and didn’t require us to leave our bedroom at all. Yay, Little Sis!

Night 5 wasn’t so great, unfortunately, with it taking her much longer to get to sleep, then waking up at 4 a.m. and not going back to sleep in either the crib OR the swing, but I think that was a result of not getting a great afternoon nap and then me not pouncing on her sleepy window when it hit a little earlier than normal. (I didn’t want to put her to bed too early because I was afraid she’d wake too early — ha! Turns out that’s what happened anyway. I should’ve just put her to bed when she looked sleepy instead of waiting until her usual 6:30 p.m.) Still, Night 5 wasn’t a disaster or anything, just not as great as the night before. Bedtime tonight was much better, with about 7 or 8 minutes of rocking her (while standing; we don’t have a rocker in her room), then I put her down and haven’t heard a peep from her yet. I am hopeful that things will continue to improve.

We’ll continue our current approach of putting her to bed in the crib, making a reasonable attempt at putting her back to sleep in the crib, but using the swing if it comes to that, and eventually we won’t have to use the swing at all — at least, that’s the hope! I’m also trying not to nurse her if she wakes up because she’s made it clear that she can go just fine overnight without eating. Now, there are exceptions to that — like if she’s giving actual hunger signs or if she’s frantic and otherwise inconsolable, but so far that hasn’t been the case. Mostly I just don’t want to restart the habit of waking up to eat if she really doesn’t need it. (But again, that sounds kind of mean, so I just want to reiterate that I will feed her if needed. It just won’t be my first go-to trick.)

Once we get this figured out, next up will be Operation: Ditch the Swaddle. But first things first, of course.

Have they been naughty or nice, Santa?

Nonstop!

Argh, there are never enough hours in the day! I’m once again out of time and can’t write a quality post, but in a way that’s good, as it means that most of our day was spent doing fun stuff (gymnastics class, visit with Santa, lunch out, and putting up the Christmas tree and other decorations). Unfortunately, that meant the evening was spent getting caught up on some cleaning and chores around the house after The Girls went to bed, leaving very little time for a blog post, but so it goes some nights.

The good news is that all of the stuff I’ve gotten done tonight? It doesn’t have to be done tomorrow, so yay for that. Hopefully my last day of the long weekend can be spent relaxing. What a concept!

Coming soon: pics with Santa, as well as an update on our transition to the crib for The Little Sis. Stay tuned!

Mutual adoration

The Big Sis loves her sister:

And The Little Sis thinks her sister is pretty nifty too:

Turkey day

Today is Thanksgiving.

Today is also the anniversary of the IUI that eventually brought us The Little Sis.

Our little turkey baby. Conceived a year ago today.

So today, I am thankful for many things. Wonderful friends, loving family, good health, a full-time job that I enjoy.

But most of all, on this anniversary day, I am thankful for the medical technology that allowed us to conceive our second daughter. Without it, who knows if she would have been sitting right across from us at the dinner table earlier tonight. Assisted reproduction isn’t for everyone, but I am appreciative of the fact that it was available for our use.

I appreciate the fact that it makes many other families’ dreams come true, just as it did ours this year.

Happy Thanksgiving!

Wordless Wednesday: Party girl!

The magic (“magic”) of the season

One of the most important lessons that parents try to teach their children is to always tell the truth. “Don’t lie,” we instruct. We drill it into them. “I need you to tell me the truth right now,” we plead. We try to help them understand the difference between just joking and outright lying. “I’m not going to be angry at what you did, as long as you tell me the truth,” we promise.

In many things parenting-related, we strive to lead by example in the hopes that our behavior will rub off onto our kids. We try to be polite to others. We demonstrate our good manners. We attempt to treat other people with the respect they deserve. We try to generally be good people, living by the “golden rule.”

We try to lead by example — except, apparently, when it comes to lying.

Why, hello there, Santa Claus. So glad that you’re coming to visit us this year! Wait — what’s that you say? You’re not real? You’re just a story we make up for children? You don’t really have elves that make toys at your workshop at the North Pole? You don’t really pack up your jolly ol’ sleigh and deliver Holiday Cheer and Awesome Presents to good boys and girls on Christmas Eve? You don’t really consume those cookies and that glass of milk that we leave out for you?

Yes, folks, it’s almost time for that annual lie-fest we parents call Christmas.

And I’ll say right now: The Big Sis DOES believe that Santa Claus is real. We don’t go over the top to convince her, but we are keeping up the notion of Santa Claus in our house, telling her the tales that have been told to children for generations and dutifully answering her skeptical questions in a manner that leaves her convinced that it’s real. There’s a pressure from society that makes it hard to veer from this setup.

But I will admit that it eats at me every year when I think about it — all we’re doing is lying to her. Setting her up for possible disappointment when she finds out it’s not the truth (and I’ve known plenty of people who are still traumatized as adults after finding out the truth when they were younger). Possibly making her see us as hypocrites who preach telling the truth but fail to follow through ourselves in this arena. Maybe breaking the trust she has in us as her parents. A bit overdramatic? Perhaps. But it also might be pretty spot on.

And I know the arguments parents cling to: It’s all part of the “magic of Christmas” But is it really? If you really and truly think about it…is it actually magic if you’re blatantly lying to your kids? What’s the real point of setting up this whole Santa scenario? Because we love them? Doesn’t loving them involve leading by example when it comes to telling them the truth? To me, loving my child means not taking advantage of their gullibility and innocence, which is what this feels like at times. What’s wrong with gifts coming from Mom and Dad? There are plenty of ways to make Christmas “magical” and fun and special — I really want to celebrate the spirit of Christmas — without resorting to lies.

Still, I try not to think about it too much and just play along at this point, basically because that’s the socially accepted norm at this age. It’s sort of like how I am about eating meat…I just can’t think about it too much. So I just don’t think about it and enjoy eating my yummy goodness. Thus I shall do the same with the whole Santa deal.

I just know not to look under the tree for a package to me from Santa, for I have not been a good girl this year. I have lied to my daughter about the existence of Santa Claus yet again. And I will likely do it until she figures out it’s all a big sham. And I will hope that she doesn’t feel duped by her parents when she does find out the truth.

Some whine with that cheese?

I always used to wonder why Calliou was so whiny all of the time.

Then I had a four-year-old of my own…

Oh MY the whining.

And the complete insanity. (That logically I know not to attempt to reason with, but sometimes it gets the better of me.)

And the emotional outbursts that begin without warning. (And often stop randomly too, thank goodness.)

The Big Sis can grate on my last nerve. Her specialty is not listening to me (thus making me repeat myself ten times, which is a major pet peeve of mine), with a side of calling my name to tell me or show me the most insignificant thing at the most inconvenient time.

Then she’ll say it one more time: “Hey, Mommy…” By this point, I have had enough.

“What?” I snap, annoyed at the fact that I can never seem to be left alone. That I can’t have two seconds to have a thought of my own while doing three things around the house at the same time.

“I love you,” she says in The Sweetest Voice Ever.

Oops. Maybe I shouldn’t have snapped.

“I love you, too, baby.”

And suddenly the whiny, insane, emotional, annoying four-year-old reminds me (yet again) what it’s all about. Her job is to question things. To find out answers. To fight against my authority. The fact that she’s whiny, insane, emotional, and annoying right now is because we are teaching her how to deal with those things now, in an effort to not be those things as an adult. We won’t know if we’ve done a good job until she’s all grown up, but I have to think that our efforts now are not going to waste.

I have to think that, otherwise I might find myself being whiny, insane, emotional, and annoying myself, and we really don’t need two of those people in the house at the same time.

 

Full

The Little Sis woke up this morning a little after 8 a.m. I got up, fumbled for my glasses, then unswaddled her as she grinned ear to ear at me while I changed her diaper. I gave her a huge hug as I carried her to the recliner to nurse her in the darkened living room. The Big Sis heard me blowing my nose, and she got up to see what I was doing. She came over and climbed up on my lap, talking about how much fun she’d had at the aquarium and a birthday party the day before.

All of a sudden, she leaned down to The Little Sis, who was eagerly nursing. The Big Sis whispered to her: “You’re my sissy, and I’m your sissy, and I just love you so much. I really do. For real!”

At that moment, not only was my lap full, but so was my heart.